The internet that today’s children grow up with is fundamentally different from the one their parents knew as young people — and different again from any world that existed before the smartphone. It is a space of extraordinary richness, learning, and connection. It is also a space where predators operate, where cyberbullying causes serious harm, where harmful content is easily accessible, and where children’s personal information is harvested at industrial scale.
Navigating this environment as a parent does not require becoming a technology expert. It requires having the right conversations, using the tools that are available, and building an ongoing relationship of trust and openness with your children around technology. This guide covers all of it.
Why open conversations are your most powerful tool
Research on child online safety consistently shows that children who have open, non-judgmental conversations with their parents about online experiences are better protected than those who do not — more so than any parental control technology. This is because no filter is perfect, no monitoring tool catches everything, and children will inevitably encounter things online that disturb, confuse, or worry them. What matters is whether they feel safe telling you about it.
The goal of these conversations is not to police your child’s internet use but to build their ability to think critically about what they encounter, to know what to do when something feels wrong, and to feel confident that coming to you will result in support rather than punishment. “If you ever see anything online that makes you feel weird or uncomfortable or scared — anything at all — come and tell me and we’ll figure it out together. You will never be in trouble for telling me” is the foundation of this relationship.
Age-appropriate conversations about online safety should begin early — well before children have their own devices. Children as young as five or six can understand basic concepts: that some information is private and belongs to us, that not everyone online is who they say they are, and that it is always safe to tell a trusted adult if something online makes them feel bad.
Setting up parental controls by platform
iPhone and iPad (Screen Time): Go to Settings → Screen Time → turn it on → set a Screen Time passcode (different from the device passcode, and do not share it with your child). Content & Privacy Restrictions allow you to restrict mature content in the App Store, Safari, Music and Podcasts, films and TV programmes, websites (with options for unrestricted, limit adult content, or allowed websites only). App Limits let you set daily usage time limits by category. Downtime blocks screen usage during specified hours, such as school hours and bedtime.
Android (Google Family Link): Download the Family Link app on your phone and your child’s Android device. Family Link allows you to approve or block app downloads, set screen time limits, lock the device remotely, see your child’s location, and view activity reports. For children under 13, Family Link provides comprehensive controls. For teenagers aged 13 and over, it works on an opt-in basis as they have the ability to disable supervision (you receive a notification if they do).
Gaming consoles: PlayStation, Xbox, and Nintendo Switch all have parental control systems accessible through companion apps on your phone. These allow you to restrict access to games by age rating, limit or monitor online communication, restrict who your child can play with online to friends only, and set daily playtime limits that will pause the console when reached.
Router-level controls: Many home routers allow you to set content filtering and time restrictions by device. This provides an additional layer of protection that applies regardless of which app or browser a child uses, and is particularly useful for filtering on smart TVs and other devices that do not have their own parental control systems.
Teaching children about online privacy
Children need to develop an intuitive understanding that certain information is private — it belongs to them and their family, and sharing it with strangers online is not safe. The specific information to teach them to protect includes: their full name, their home address, their school name, any identifying information about their daily routine, their phone number, and photographs that could reveal their location (school uniform, recognisable landmarks).
This applies in every online context: social media profiles, gaming chats, online forums, Discord servers, video apps, and direct messages from people they do not know in real life. The key concept is “real life” — a gaming friend you have played with for months is still a stranger you have only encountered online. The strength of the online relationship does not change the real-world reality that you do not know who this person is.
Recognising and responding to cyberbullying
Cyberbullying — harassment, humiliation, or exclusion conducted through digital channels — affects a significant proportion of children and can cause serious, lasting psychological harm. The 24/7 nature of digital connection means that unlike physical bullying, which ends when school does, cyberbullying follows a child home and into their bedroom.
Warning signs to watch for: becoming upset, withdrawn, or anxious after using their phone or computer; reluctance to discuss their online activities; avoiding school or social situations; changes in sleep patterns; loss of interest in activities they previously enjoyed. These can indicate cyberbullying but may also indicate other concerns — approach the subject with curiosity and care rather than alarm.
If your child tells you they are being cyberbullied, your first response should be to listen without judgment and thank them for telling you. Do not immediately reach for their phone or suggest deleting accounts — understand the situation first. Document evidence by taking screenshots. Contact their school — most schools have anti-bullying policies that cover online behaviour and can take action even when incidents happen outside school hours. Report to the platform where the bullying occurred.
Online gaming and the risks parents often miss
Online gaming is one of the primary environments where children interact with strangers, and it is an environment where inappropriate contact and grooming have become increasingly documented concerns. The combination of voice chat, direct messaging, in-game gift-giving, and the gradual development of what feels like genuine friendship creates a context that can be exploited by adults with harmful intentions.
Disable or restrict voice chat and direct messaging with strangers — most platforms allow you to restrict these to friends-only. Use the parental control systems described above. Have explicit conversations with your children about the fact that people met in games are strangers regardless of how long you have known them online, and that any adult who asks to continue the friendship outside the game platform — on WhatsApp, Discord, or by phone — is behaving in a way that should be reported to you immediately.